


Spooky Stuff

by BayleyWinchester



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Buzzfeed Unsolved References, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Ghosts, Haunting, Humour, Random & Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 16:58:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19277551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BayleyWinchester/pseuds/BayleyWinchester
Summary: okay but instead of the Victorian ghost trope, a ghost who died recently and watched bfu so when Shane and Ryan visit them they just keep using bfu references~Ryan is losing his mind and Shane is enjoying the ride.





	Spooky Stuff

“Why the fuck am I here?”

Shane laughed, shaking his head as they walked into the building. It was a typical haunted house; large, dark, lots of stone, iron fence wrapped around the property. If Shane was a film scout, he’d be happy here. 

“Seriously, this is so fucking stupid!”

“You chose to come here.”

Ryan shot him a glare before walking off, following TJ who was already inside. Shane laughed again. Nights at these places were often boring but Ryan never failed to make them more interesting. 

Inside was just as 1970-B-rated-horror-movie as the outside. Shane loved it. There was a sofa against one wall that Shane was going to sit on, the thick layer of dust and dirt made him change his mind rather quickly. These were his nice jeans, thank you. The camera had been set up and Ryan was opening up their folding chairs. He’d be called to sit and listen to Ryan’s tale in a few minutes. They were interesting stories, no doubt, but that’s all they are.

“Alright, let’s go,” Ryan said after a few more moments of tinkering with the camera. Shane did as asked and went to sit on the chair. When everything was in place Ryan started talking, Shane listening and ready to input any funny remarks. “This week on Buzzfeed unsolved we’re at the Ludwig Murder House in part of our ongoing investigation into the question - are ghosts real?” Shane shook his head, staring at the camera as Ryan continued. “The house was first built in 1874 and has a grisly history.” 

“Grisly! I like that,” Shane interrupted. Ryan rolled his eyes before continuing. 

Later that night Shane and Ryan found themselves in one of the bedrooms. Shane was lounging on the bed. Watching Ryan as he fiddled with the black box. “Okay, we’re going to do the spirit box in here. If anyone is in here, please come forward.”

“You’re going to hate this,” Shane sighed. The static bursting through, Shane groaning. “Ok, ghouly ghosts, make it interesting. You’re boring me.”

“Do you have to be such a dick?” 

“I wouldn’t have to be a dick if the ghost-ees came through.”

The static crackled and then stopped, Ryan’s eyes going wide. “What the fuck?”

“Here.” It was pronounced, clearly a voice and Ryan’s face made it a hundred times better. 

“We’re going to need more than one word,” Ryan said after getting over his moment of, whatever it was. Shock? Excitement? Shane couldn’t tell. Probably both, as much as Ryan was afraid of ghosts he was desperate to get some evidence. At least this wasn’t just a bunch of static that could be a word, like what they usually got. “A sentence? Can you say where we are? Or your name?”

“Unsolved.”

“Oh fuck!” Ryan exclaimed while Shane laughed. “What the fuck?” 

“-eed unsolved.”

Shane cracked up. This was turning out to be good. “Are you trying to say Buzzfeed Unsolved? How’s that for a promo!”

“Buzz-” it trailed off, static replacing it. Ryan and Shane stayed silent for a few moments, in case it started again. It didn’t.

“Okay that was-”

“Weird,” Shane finished. “But it wasn’t a ghost.”

Ryan looked pissed, “it said Buzzfeed unsolved!”

“Bagaghifoooud”

“I hate you.”

~

“This week on Buzzfeed unsolved we’re at Allison Park in part of our ongoing investigation into the question - are ghosts real?” As always, Shane shook his head, staring into the camera, gotta keep the brand up. “This park is a popular family spot for picnics and such but has a very dark history that stems from colonial times. It’s also really cold right now, so let’s get through quickly.” 

He wasn’t wrong, they were sitting on a park bench in the open air and their coats weren’t doing much. The wind was strong and icy, the sun had gone down hours ago and it wasn’t helping that their crew all had warm coffee. Shane went to reply, something stupid (again, brand) and probably about chilly ghosts. He didn’t get the option to as there was a loud crash sounded from behind them. Ryan whipped around to see what it was, Shane looked at the camera in mock fear. The crash happened again, closer this time, and the wind picked up slightly. 

The rest of the night was boring as all hell. Nothing happened. Even Ryan had to admit defeat and admit that there was nothing. Well, Shane thought he would take the defeat this time. And then they were in the sound booth a few days later doing their voice-overs and Ryan brought out a new piece of evidence. “This is honestly insane,” Ryan said as he set up the footage. 

Vaguely, and it was very vague, there was a sound. “When there were those crashes, in the beginning, our EMP recorder picked this up. I didn’t hear it until I was going through it all yesterday.”

“I don’t know what it's saying.”

Ryan made a noise of annoyance and played it again, louder this time. It was clearer now, clear enough that “fuck you Shane” came through. Audible for all. 

“Would have been more impressive if they used my last name.”

“Fuck you, Shane.”

“Has anyone thought that made it was Ryan whispering to himself. He does say that a lot.”

“I wasn’t talking! You were sitting next to me and the recorder was behind the camera. If it picked me up you would have heard me.”

Shane shrugged, “it’s the wind.”

“The wind!”

“It’s a windy night Ryan.”

“You think that the wind said fuck you, Shane?”

Again, Shane shrugged. “It could be a million things.”

“You’d say this was squeaky shoes over a ghost.”

“Squeaky shoes are real. Ghosts are not.” 

“I can’t deal with you right now.”

~

The two of them were sitting in a cell at some abandoned prison. Truthfully, Shane had forgotten the name of the place. He was tired, so very tired. He was ready to lie down on the dusty bed that was shoved against the wall and take a nap while Ryan went off on his solo walk of the block. Briefly, he wondered what the fans would say if he did take a nap. It would be on brand.

Before he could pitch the idea Ryan finished attaching the camera harness. “Alright, I’m going to walk around. In the dark. With the ghosts.”

“Yes. If you die I’ll make sure it goes viral.”

“Thank you.”

And then he was off. Shane could hear him talking as he walked. ‘Don’t come near me’ and ‘please talk to me’ seemed to be the most common pleas. He was just going to confuse the ghosts. Shane said as much to his camera before looking at the bed. Surely it wouldn’t be that bad if he got to sleep. TJ was shaking his head at him, was it because of the bad joke or his longing looks? Most likely both. 

Ryan came back sometime later, Shane spent most of it on his phone. “Catch any spectors?”

 

“I swear to god I saw a shadow.”

“Was it your own?” 

“My ow- No. I’m not an idiot.”

Shane looked at the camera, “that’s debatable.” Everyone else in the room groaned. Shane considered that a win. 

“How scared am I going to be today?”

“Ha ha.”

“Maybe I’ll turn my light out. Making everything a shadow.”

“Haha. You’re so funny. Please, ghosts, kill him for me.”

He picked up his own harness and put it on, grabbing a flashlight and the spirit box. Suppressing the urge to throw the box against the wall, Shane set out on his own walk. It was simple, walk to one of the grossest cells (some had one had killed themselves in it? Or killed someone else? Shane needed to pay more attention to Ryan during his monologues.) 

“Ghosts!” Shane sang out. “Come and kill me, please! I’m waiting!”

He got to the cell. It was truly gross. One of the walls was just covered in mold and the sink looked one speck of dirt away from collapsing in on itself. Shane placed the spirit box on the bed, turning it on and groaning when it started up. “I fucking hate this thing.”

“We know.”

“That was something. Fun,” Shane laughed before going on to ignore what had just come out of the box. Hardly evidence of the paranormal. “Alright, if you’re in here can you say your name? No, nothing. Can you say my name? My name’s Shane.”

“Madej.”

“Sort of, it’s Madej, not mad-hey but we’re close.” Ryan was going to kill him for being so blase about it. “Can you say where we are? I’m getting nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

~

The house they were at was unassuming. Boring. Shane was helping TJ to set up the cameras in one of the bedrooms while Ryan got out the Ovilus and the EMF reader. They had just finished the opening as had moved onto the first bedroom. Something about a young girl dying (sickness, Shane was pretty sure it was sickness) in here causing her mother to kill herself in the same bed. Ryan didn’t want to look at the bed. 

Once the camera was done Shane hopped onto the bed and started teasing Ryan about his aversion to the piece of furniture. Good banter to fill the space. “Alright,” Ryan said as he sat on the bed after he turned on the Ovilus. It took a few moments to gather up the courage to, which Shane found funny. “Hi, my name is Ryan and this is Shane, can you say our names back to us?” 

“What are you expecting?”

“Can you say your name?” Ryan continued, ignoring Shane. 

“See-”

It cut off but it got Ryan excited. “What was that?”

“C.C,” it trailed off again and now Ryan looked confused. “C.C Tinsley.” 

“Holy hell! We found him, Ryan!” 

“Whaaaaaat the fuck?”

There was a burst of static-like sounds. The static got louder for a second before becoming very quiet. “So - Sounds like a case for C.C Tinsley~” It trailed off at the end but the sentence was clear. Distinct. Everything that made Ryan look like he was a scared child (to be fair, that wasn’t hard to do) and that made for a good episode. The static crackled again, Ryan jumping, before the voice started back up. It was the same as before, which was interesting. “C.C Tinsley’s here.”

“You freaked Ryan out,” Shane laughed.

“All hail the watcher, I guess,” came through. Clear as day. Shane was pretty sure Ryan was about to run out of the building. 

~

Their next spooky building was very much abandoned. Shane had counted sixteen holes in the walls by the time they got to the first wall. It was some old, super dead, rich dude's house. After he died his wife had started trying to contact him in the afterlife that had lead to demons or something coming in. Very Hollywood. Ryan had explained more but that was the general gist. 

The game plan was simple. Open in the living room, head to the attic, head to the bedroom and then the basement. All these places had basements. 

In the attic, Ryan set up the spirit box. Why Ryan loved it so much Shane couldn’t understand - no, he could actually. Ryan liked it because it gave good ‘evidence’. Ryan set it up, Shane mocked the noises it made. Easy. After a few seconds of the hideous sound, Ryan started asking questions. He was still rattled from their previous run in and every noise he jumped, which was kind of funny seeing how the machine produced noises. 

As much as he made fun of Ryan, Shane had to hand it to the man - he was brave. 

“We’re reaching out to Mr and Mrs Franke or the groundskeeper Bill. Are any of you here with us?”

“Tough luck,” Shane said when nothing came through. “Try again.”

“My name is Ryan, and that’s Shane. Could you tell us your name?” 

“Apple-tater,” came through. Shane was like ninety per cent sure Ryan was about to throw the spirit box. “Spaghetti.”

Ryan turned off the box, and in the silence, they both heard the bang of the downstairs door. 

~

Three days later, two days after they got back, Ryan came into work looking like he hadn’t slept. He sat down, a cup of coffee in hand, and turned on his computer. Shane watched him go through the motions before asking if he was alright. Because, damnit, Shane was a great friend and cared about Ryan. The man in question turned to Shane, wide-eyed. This was about something dumb, Shane knew that immediately. 

“I think I’m being haunted.”

He was right. “And why do you think that?”

“There was a blue ball on my bed!” 

“What?”

“A blue, bouncy, ball!”

Shane nodded slowly. “And this means ghost, how? You have roommates.”

“It’s the exact same ball as the one that went under my name at Waverly! Sitting in the middle of my bed when I got out of the shower. And I swear I heard someone whispering in my bedroom last night.”

“You’re roommates are fucking with you. They’ve watched the show. You’re easy to fuck with. Is this why you didn’t sleep last night?” 

“Sort of. I was editing and stuff until late. I went to get some water and saw someone standing in the hallway. And then it just disappeared! And don’t say roommates because, A, they weren’t home and B, they can’t disappear into thin air.” 

“I wasn’t going to say, roommates. I’m saying that it’s a hallucination.” 

Ryan ran his hand through his hair. “I can’t believe you. Shane something’s going on!”

“Let’s hope that we get something on camera tomorrow then. Where are we going again?”

“Church. An old church.”

“Everywhere we go is old. Can you find a haunted beach resort or something?”

“I’ll keep my eye open for a haunted beach resort,” Ryan laughed. Never say Shane couldn’t distract his best friend. 

It was a week later when they went back out. As Ryan had said, it was an old church. Not much else really. It was one room plus a basement and small graveyard outside. They were going to have to get creative in how they filmed and edited it. Places like this could get boring really fast. They had just finished with the opening and now they were heading outside. Probably to do a spirit box session or something equally as dumb.

He was right. Ryan had brought an ouija board. “For someone who is so afraid of ghosts you use a lot of ouija boards.”

“For the betterment of science.”

“Right,” Shane nodded seriously. They sat opposite each other and placed their fingers on the planchette. Almost instantly it started moving. Shane laughed, “look at that Ryan! It’s moving” 

“Yeah, I know,” Ryan snapped back. “Don’t fuck around with me.”

“I’m not.”

The planchette moved to H-I.

“Hi?” Ryan muttered. “Hi. I’m Ryan, and this is Shane. Can you say your name?” It was slow but the planchette moved again R-O-S-E. “Rose?”

“Well this is fun,” Shane said as the planchette moved to ‘yes’. “Hi, Rose, how are you?”

D-E-A-D.

“Alright,” Shane laughed. The planchette moved again, heading towards F and then U where it hovered for a second. Shane laughed again, “fuuuuuck you!” He was mildly surprised when the planchette moved to ‘Yes’. 

“What the hell is happening?” Ryan asked, watching it with his wide eyes. G-H-O-S-T. “Oh my god. Shane, are you doing this?”

“Swear, I’m not.”

M-E. Long pause. F-A-N. 

“What?” Ryan had taken his hands off the planchette now. That put a damper on Shane’s ‘ghosts aren’t real’ look on life because he was decidedly not doing it. Weird. The planchette went to ‘I’, paused, A-M, pause, A, pause, F-A-N. Ryan looked like he was about to pass out.

Shane lifted his fingers up.

M-Y B-R-I-D-G-E N-O-W

“I- What?” Ryan was staring at the board, his face paler than normal. 

F-U-C-K Y-O-U G-O-A-T-M-A-N

“This is so fucked oh my god.”

H-A-R-D. T-I-R-E-D. The planchette was starting to slow down, it had been slow, to begin with but now it was almost boringly slow.

W-I-L-L R-E-M-A-I-N U-N-S-O-L-V-E-D. Once ‘unsolved’ was done it sped up slightly, heading to goodbye. Ryan stood up. Before Shane could blink Ryan was gone, practically running towards the cars. Shane followed. 

“What the fuck just happened?”

“I’m not sure,” Shane admitted. “Weird.”

“That’s what you have to say? Weird!” 

“I don’t know. Spooky stuff.”


End file.
